How Social Media Threatens The People You Lead
Social media evolved as I did.
In 2006, I added Facebook friends furiously to exceed my peers’ count. In 2007, I enjoyed the thrill when others used the new “like” button on my posts. In 2008, the algorithm began showing me comments people made to each other. This felt like creeping, observing conversations I wasn’t invited to, and so I complained about it in the most natural way I could — by posting on Facebook.
In hindsight, I was naive to the narcissism encouraged by these websites. I grew far too accustomed to a space, whether digital or not, centered on me. And that’s why I appreciate Chris Martin’s latest book The Wolf in Their Pockets: 13 Ways the Social Internet is Influencing The People You Lead. Not only does it help me see the sway of social media on my own life, but it helps me lead others who are dealing with the same.
For those of us in our early to mid-thirties, we had a radically different childhood than teenagers today: we actually hung out together. This is just one of the many disruptions of life often attributed to social media.
The Not-So-Hidden Effects of Social Media
It’s not just narcissism, hanging out, and mental health. Across thirteen chapters, Chris Martin analyzes four influences of the “social internet”1 to guard against (entertainment idolatry, cynicism, anxiety, and conspiracy theories), seven attributes to cultivate in light of social media (purpose, friendships, priorities, discernment, humility, living peaceably, and worship), and two topics worth thinking more about (authority and sex).
The style of each chapter is consistent. Each comes with, 1) a biblical rationale for caring and cultivating the chapter’s key theme, 2) an unpacking of how social media pushes against the theme, and 3) how to cultivate the chapter’s main theme as a leader.
My favorite four chapters were on friendship, entertainment, anxiety, and authority. On friendship, he cautions readers about online influencers replacing relational presence. On entertainment, he echos Neil Postman’s concern of being placated by screens instead of living on purpose. On anxiety, the “hallway effect” was unpacked; we are constantly observable via our online profiles and this gives us a sense of ongoing performance with no time for the “backstage.” On authority, Martin notes how the byproduct of podcasts like The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill led people to look down on their own pastors, who have nothing to do with Mark Driscoll. Given the precipitous decline in institutional trust, we would do well to say aloud Chris Martin’s words on page 149, “Authority is good.”
I appreciate how practical many chapters were. For example, to combat isolation he suggests churches create proactive “Fellowship Teams” to help people spend physical time with one another outside the church building. In the chapter on Live Peaceably, he says leaders should cultivate an atmosphere of affirmation, consistently recognizing how Christ is working in those they lead. On anxiety, among other suggestions, he encourages readers to “point people to the rest and acceptance we have in the finished work of Christ.” Amen.
Who Is This Book For?
This is a fast-paced book. You won’t get a full biblical theology of various themes but you will get lots of Scripture, lots of evidence of the impact of social media, and lots of ideas for responding whether you’re a pastor, teacher, or parent. Positively, a book of this nature can act as a sort of field guide to come back to as you prepare for a sermon or are thinking through a certain issue. Negatively, the book can feel like an assortment of blog posts without an overarching vision for the Christian life.
But again, this is for leaders. There are plenty of other books to describe the Christian life. This book, as Martin says, is “about how social media affects your ability to disciple and lead others.”
If you’re a school administrator, teacher, or school board member, then this is a good book to give you justification for having a no-phone school policy.
If you’re a pastor who has a sense that social media is a problem but you are unclear how — this book will sharpen your perspective, clarify the problems you’re already seeing, and give you some ideas on how to respond.
If you’re a parent who is considering giving your child a phone, you should read this book to get a sense of what’s at risk. Though also listen to what Chris Martin says in my interview with him about the likelihood of bullying when you wait to give your child a phone.
And if you’re skeptical about whether social media is really so damaging in the first place, this book will likely convince you otherwise.
There are other Christian leaders who may not benefit as directly from this book. Since there are so many Christianity and technology books these days, it’s helpful to consider what Chris Martin’s book doesn’t do. For example:
If you’re already aware and often complain about technology, then this book will only reinforce that disposition and won't give you the theology of technology that I think you need to be more nuanced in your criticism. I'll recommend a couple of books in a footnote.2
If you’re a small group leader and you’re looking for a book to study together (rather than just a personal study as a leader) then this book won’t have the tone you’re looking for.3
If you’re looking for a reflection on what it means to be human, or a detailed account of the social goods that Christians should pursue instead of social media, or an unpacking of the deeper cultural roots behind our era of technology, then there are other good books to better meet your needs.4
Evaluation
Overall, The Wolf in their Pockets is engaging, direct, and helpful. Most readers will come away with caution in using social media platforms, and that’s good, but they will also be inspired to grow some atrophied spiritual muscles, and that’s even better.
Some people say complaining about social media is no different than complaining about the printing press. They’re wrong. They should read this book.
That isn’t to say social media is inherently evil. It’s just more like a wolf in a playground than a spec of silicon in a sandbox.
At the end of the day, let’s just admit we can’t eat of the bread and drink of the cup using an iPhone app. There are limitations to non-physical communication (see 2 John 13). Our devices can be, and too often are, a distraction from what matters.
Let’s grow in our awareness of the ways the social internet is impacting us, grow in our knowledge of what God is asking of us, and let’s do a better job of making disciples, loving our neighbour, and glorifying God as a result.
Martin uses “social media” and “social internet” interchangeably throughout the book. He likes the term “social internet” because it encompasses more than just stereotypical platforms like Instagram and Twitter. He defines the social internet in his other book, Terms of Service.
I recommend pastors and Christian leaders read either John Dyer’s From The Garden To The City or Tony Reinke’s God, Technology, and the Christian Life.
For a small group study, I would recommend Jason Thacker’s Following Jesus in a Digital Age.
On a reflection of our humanity, I recommend Andy Crouch’s The Life We’re Looking For. On pursuing social goods, I recommend Jake Meador’s two books In Search of the Common Good and What Are Christians For? On the deeper root of our technological culture, I recommend Alan Noble’s You Are Not Your Own.